Help For Husbands, Part II


Previously, I wrote about two of the greatest needs that husbands have. As I’m personally on the pursuit to be a better husband, I am continually intrigued by other men who are striving with all of their might to be the best husbands that they can be, yet a biblically sound, simple, and wise approach is few and far in between. Today, I want to offer two additional ideas that will help husbands walk in freedom.

As I said previously, 21st century husbands need freedom! That’s the real help that they need. Have you ever seen a man with so much charisma and magnetism that it causes you to wonder, “Is what I’m seeing really real?” Well, when a husband can get these four ideas committed to memory, the person in process will be captivating and compelling, while setting a standard for others to follow. The help that husbands need includes the freedom to be emotional and the freedom to have fun.

Here are the last two ideas that will drastically help husbands today:

1) Freedom To Fail and Be Wrong

As husbands have those rare times to gather and share, inevitably you hear a fear of getting it all wrong. Failure as a husband, parent, employee, and friend stalks many men like the monsters in the closet that they ran from as children. To compound these fears, missing a trusted advisor and teacher who could dismiss those fears leaves many husbands working to always be right and fear missing the high mark of perfectionism. This drive for perfectionism is seen in the relationship that must look flawless, the work appearing seamless, the clothes together and cars picture-perfect. This image becomes the façade for the unspoken, deep-rooted fear of failing. The truth is, at some point, every husband is going to miss it. At some point, every husband will miss that moment to be emotionally available or have the perfect response or the balancing act that will cause one of the roles to be placed on the back burner for a moment. There’s nothing wrong with missing the mark, as long as it becomes a vital piece of education that empowers each husband for the next season and moment to get it right. Wives and
families can provide a clear understanding that the love, support, and appreciation isn’t conditional upon perfect performance but perfect progress.

2) Freedom To Be Their Authentic Selves

One of the worst things that our society supports is comparison. Shannon Alder said, “Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be memorable. Be confident. Be proud.” When husbands have magazine men, television scripts, and pie-in-the-sky imaginations to mêlée with, it becomes an unfair fight. And a powerful truth for every husband and wife to understand is that NO REAL MAN CAN COMPETE WITH A FANTASY! They will never win. The greatest victory is when a husband becomes proven in his own personality. If he’s not a night person, that must become okay. If he’s quiet, that must become okay. It must become okay if he doesn’t have a flare for fashion or isn’t handy with a toolbox. The criteria that allowed him to become a husband in the first place must be that there was an appreciation for his authentic self. When he shows you who he really is, wives, children, and friends must celebrate that authenticity. It’s that authenticity that becomes a clue for their unique assignment. When a husband becomes free to be himself, he can trust that he’ll be loved and admired – well – as a real man, who is now a real husband.

Husbands, there’s the help you need. Go be free!

If you missed Part I, you can catch it here!

Christopher J. Harris, a native of Palatka, Florida, is Director of Ministry Operations of the historic mega-church Fellowship Church of Chicago. He is also Overseer of Youth for Full Gospel Baptist Church Fellowship International. Harris currently resides in Chicago with his wife and children.

Facebook Twitter