My name is Mya Huff and I would like to share a little bit of my testimony. Like others, I went through sexual molestation as a child, and of all places it was at a babysitter’s. Our babysitter had a son who was around the age of twelve. Some days when he didn’t go to school, he was responsible for watching the little ones while our caretaker would take her afternoon naps. There was a couch right across from the kitchen in the apartment that was in an open space, but it was hidden well enough from the bedrooms in the back of the apartment. In those moments, life became a nightmare for me as a four year old little girl.
Unfortunately, this is a common story of abuse for a lot of people. A sexual or physical encounter with a man or woman, as a child, is not something you are proud of. For some people, this type of experience digs a hole inside of them. Some women see men and instantly remember that unfortunate experience from their childhood. That was my own personal dilemma. I didn’t feel safe around men, with the exception of my brothers. Even as a little girl, I didn’t like men showing me affection. When a man showed me affection as a child, that same uncomfortable feeling that rose up in me when someone touched me in the wrong places came back. I didn’t know how to separate the two in my mind. I had shades over my eyes. It was only through those shades that I built a perspective of men.
In the seventh grade, I was diagnosed with a chemical imbalance in my body. Different women develop different issues with hormonal imbalances. The only issue that my body took on from the imbalance was the rapid and excessive growth of facial hair. It was very hard for me to even look in the mirror some days. I didn’t feel beautiful at all. The hair would grow so fast, I would have to use a razor on my face every other day. That led to acne and other skin problems that were hard to cope with. The hormonal imbalance got bad during my high school years. In high school, some days I would walk with my head hung down, hoping that no one would see.
So many days and nights I cried because I just wanted to be normal. Girls in high school didn’t have beards or mustaches, but I did. I would ask God why He hadn’t yet healed me or why He allowed this to manifest in my body. After some time, I had built up a case in my mind that maybe I looked better as a boy. Then maybe people wouldn’t stare at me and wonder why this teenage girl had so much facial hair.
I am sharing this because there are women all over the world who deal with this issue. Maybe you don’t have same-sex attraction, but for some, you have locked yourself up. Scared to face the world or pursue what you really want in life. Hormonal imbalances or any other medical issue do not make you any less of a woman. You are beautiful. Make the decision to break up with the idea that there was any mistake or that your identity is distorted. God made a promise He would heal me and as time went on, it began to happen. But I had to keep walking with God and keep making the right decisions when all I had as evidence of my healing was a Word from the Lord.
I made a choice to give myself over to the lifestyle of homosexuality my senior year in high school and decided to come out after college. It was a back and forth thing for a long time.
There were times when I made every effort to change my life and as soon as something set me off, I would go back. As soon as something bad happened that reminded me of the unresolved hurt within me, I relapsed.
Being in the lifestyle seemed so easy, but there was no peace.
Some people use alcohol, drug abuse, sex, and other destructive lifestyles to escape their present harsh reality. Homosexuality was my drug of choice and every single time I overdosed, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Being in the lifestyle seemed so easy, but there was no peace. My process in coming out of homosexuality did not come overnight. I literally had to stop in my tracks turn around and say, “Lord, I surrender.” I had to keep surrendering until the new thing God was doing in me became a way of life. I am nobody’s victim; neither am I defeated. I am more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:37)
I am nobody’s victim.
My book, Homosexuality: Dispel the Myth, Mend the Broken Pieces, discusses things I have experienced in my life. But it deals more with the subject of coming out of homosexuality, offering others tools to begin their own journey. The first step is making a choice.
The love of God is not the absence of accountability.
God loves you with an everlasting love. That will never change. What we have to understand as the human race is that having the love of God is not the absence of accountability. There is one only One Who can give any of us eternal security. That is the Lord Jesus Christ. The arguments and reasoning of men have never saved anybody’s soul. It is better for us to acknowledge the One Who can come to our defense in an eternal court, rather than put our hopes in those whose jurisdiction is limited to the courts of this realm. Be encouraged and be steadfast. Find out what God has to say about you. You have a purpose and a destiny. At the moment God thought of you, you had a name and a place in Him. It’s not too late, you can be completely free. It’s your turn now. Your identity is embedded in Christ Jesus. Make a new choice and be free.
CONNECT WITH MYA!