Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. (Allen Saunders)
What a true statement. While I was busy making plans for the Summer, for the upcoming school year, time with my husband, time with the kids, exciting career goals…life happened. Unexpected changes came – physically, mentally, and emotionally. It definitely took a toll. What’s more, the balancing act I had before is nothing compared to what I have now!
However, I learned some important things during this process. I learned it’s such a blessing to have a true partner who will go through the mire with you, through thick and thin, whether or not they understand all that’s happening to you. The important thing is to be there for you. I’ve always been grateful for my husband. I appreciate him even more right now.
I am taking a look at achieving some semblance of balance. Still imperfect, especially when things don’t go quite as planned. And let’s face it, that’s pretty often – at least according to our perceived plans. I have some keys which have helped guide me and helped me to continually achieve balance and structure (I use that word loosely) with my hubby and my kids.
1) Pray, pray, pray! You should always pray for your spouse. However, at times when they are facing a challenge, hurting, or frustrated, they need your prayers even more. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve been grateful to feel heaviness lifting and know it was a result of someone praying on my behalf.
2) Communicate. “Leave me alone” doesn’t have to sound like, well, “leave me alone.” “I need some time to myself” or “Can we talk later?” can be just as effective and much more tactful. Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you have a license to hurt others.
3) Share the load. Be willing to take on extra duties or chores to give your spouse time that they need. Do the dishes, bathe the kids and put them to bed, rub her feet, bring him breakfast in bed. Understand that some inconvenience now can move you toward the whole and loving spouse you desire later.
4) Put forth extra effort. I’ve heard many times that doing special, unexpected things for your spouse makes all the difference. I put that word into action and can attest to that being the truth! So imagine how much those special gestures mean at a time when your spouse could use that boost of love and support. It’s worth putting a little more effort into it.
5) Handle distractions. My husband does this in stealth mode and he does it well. He’s not one to come out and say, “Don’t do this.” Rather, he will ask tactfully whether I’ve considered the toll it will take on me, how much effort and energy it requires, etc. He also has no problem fielding calls/texts for me so I can get some rest.
Whether you’re a newlywed or approaching your golden anniversary, you’re sure to realize the work and sacrifice that are a part of marriage. But you’ll also realize the incredible joy, happiness, and peace that are a part of a good marriage, and learn the art of balancing during the process.