I am writing this to the many women who are trying to do things right according to God’s Word. I know I am NOT a woman and I definitely enjoy my masculinity. However, I do recognize your current frustration in today’s environment of male-female relationships. Just so we are clear as to what my definition of doing right is, allow me to further explain. Here are the characteristics of how God’s good girl should operate based on my interpretation of God’s Word.
- God’s Good Girl has accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of her life. (1 John 5:12-13)
- God’s Good Girl serves faithfully in ministry and enjoys doing God’s work. (1 Corinthians 7:32)
- God’s Good Girl is actively working to improve herself in ALL areas of life in preparation for the mate God has for her (i.e. spiritually, financially, socially, professionally, mentally and emotionally). (Proverbs 31)
- God’s Good Girl has forgiven all of her ex-boyfriends for their relationship failures and has purged all hurts. This includes acknowledging your contribution to the demise of the relationship. (Matthew 18:21-22)
- God’s Good Girl recognizes that her body is a temple and protects (doesn’t give it away sexually), adorns (dresses respectfully), and preserves it (exercises). (1 Corinthians 6:18-20)
Many of my Christian sisters are dedicated and consistently operate according to the principles outlined above. I also want to emphasize that nowhere did I mention that you have to be perfect, so don’t place too much pressure on yourself to do so. As we see in Romans 3:23, “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” This includes a number of pastors, preachers, evangelists, and prophets who act as if they have the ability to walk on water. Don’t beat yourself up based on the appearance of how it seems others are living. You continue to focus on your maturation, commitment, and God’s purpose for your life.
If you fall in the God’s Good Girl category and consistently find yourself frustrated because you still encounter relationship challenges, do not let your faith waiver. Remain focused on the main thing (salvation and Christian living) and allow God to orchestrate the rest. Believe me, I know this is easier said than done. Especially, as you watch those around you who operate in a less than godly manner continue to get married. Is there something wrong with you? Should you simply give up on the lifestyle you’ve chosen to live and go back to “dating as usual”? It depends…
There are a lot of people who are married, but not necessarily happily married. Don’t allow your temporary season of loneliness to cause you to make a decision that will make your life miserable. We often get caught up in the celebration of two people coming together, but rarely share in their misery of a bad mate choice until the relationship is virtually over. You’d rather continue persevering with expectancy in the God who is able to meet your desires, than to give up and rely on yourself to make a flesh-led decision that may lead to further misery.
What about the guys who don’t want to live with your decision to be abstinent? The reality is many guys won’t necessarily embrace the idea (I know this isn’t the traditional minister answer). However, you have to make the decision whether you are open to giving someone access to something they don’t have a covenant to claim ownership of. A LOT OF WOMEN AND MEN DO!
The problem is the attachment and bond that is formed through the sexual act as well as the inability to see clearly after the act is completed. I DO NOT recommend you eliminate a man just because he makes an advance towards you. There is a difference between making an advance and putting pressure on you. One is a result of being caught up in the moment, whereas the other is an intentional attempt at making you do something where indecisiveness is present. Whichever the case, I DO recommend that you better manage your boundaries so you don’t find yourselves in situations where you have to deal with those advances.
If you’ve made the decision to follow God and His directives expecting things to operate in your timing, then you’re setting yourself up for failure. Everyone I’ve known that has tried to walk in alignment with God’s principles have all reached a point along the journey where they became a little frustrated and began to petition God for direction. However, they remained fully engaged in ministry and God placed someone in their path that they ultimately grew to love.