Sexually Test Drive Your Mate??

Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. (I Corinthians 6:18)

One of the most popular questions I receive when I state my position on pre-marital sex is, “What happens if my mate and I aren’t sexually compatible?”

The question is thought-provoking, but there is no out-clause for those seeking permission to continue in worldly behavior. Some say a test drive is necessary in order to avoid future infidelity issues between a husband and wife. Some say sex is a major component in a relationship that should not be ignored and left to post-marriage chance. Some say it isn’t possible for two people with an attraction towards one another to resist physical interaction. There are several compelling reasons to support the pre-marital sex point of view. However, the one opposing argument I would like to present is this: Do you trust God?

Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” If you trust God and say that you follow Him wholeheartedly, then you have to trust His ability to supply all of your needs–including your sexual desires.

Sexual compatibility is often viewed as a natural chemistry, which is true. However, sexual compatibility is also something that can be learned and developed through love, faithfulness, willingness to teach AND learn, as well as willingness to explore new ideas and techniques. The trouble many couples experience is the temptation to compare their spouse to previous partners. You reach a relational pinnacle and now want the husband/wife in your life to live up to the compilation of the many previous sex partners you entertained during your life. How realistic or fair is that? Not very realistic or fair at all.

I’ve also heard it put this way: when you recognize the true value of something, there is no need to test drive it or try it out. Bentleys and diamonds are exquisite, but rarely do you see people testing them out for compatibility. However, other, less expensive types of vehicles and items allow anyone to test them out. What is the point I’m trying to make? Are YOU a Bentley or another type of average vehicle? Do you trust that God has sent you a Bentley or do you think the man/woman in your life to be a Kia? God values our obedience to His Word and will honor us for saving ourselves until marriage.

Remember, love is the characteristic that many casual, sexual relationships lack. Love has the ability to take an average, casual, sexual relationship to an outstanding covenant sexual relationship within marriage. Trust God and allow Him to do “exceedingly, abundantly above all you can ask or think…” (Ephesians 3:20). HE CAN DO IT!


Kenny Pugh

Kenny Pugh is an entrepreneur, author, radio show host and sought-after speaker on singleness, relationships, business and money. Kenny is the host of the Chat Kafe Show ( and is a frequent guest on various radio broadcasts. He is also the author of Can You Do It Standing Up? A Different Position on Relationships (

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