â€œIt could never be me!â€ we say as we browse the latest Hollywood scandal in the grocery store tabloids or hear of that â€œweakâ€ sister who gave it up to someone else\’s husband.
â€œI wouldn\’t put up with that!â€ we declare after seeing those â€œpatheticâ€ women who go back to men who have tipped out on their marriage.
Low on compassion and high on our estimation of ourselves, we Christians routinely relegate affairs, scandals and cheaters as the world\’s just desertsâ€”â€œsuch things shouldn\’t even be named among the saintsâ€ we’ve said with our noses in the air from high atop our ivory steeples.
But, statistics say that infidelity will touch 40% – 76% of married couples during the life of the marriage (Buss & Shackelford, Univ. of Texas).Â Think through your five closest couple friendsâ€”now imagine that three of them have or will face infidelity head on. That\’s what we\’re talking about here.
That’s why we were so honored and excited when Emanuel “Da T.R.U.T.H.” & Nicole Lambert agreed to share their journey of healing with the Gospel Today audience. Their story in the May/June 2012 issue is a must-read! In fact, they had so many great things to share that we’re bringing some of it to you hear!! Enjoy.
ON “CULTIVATING ONENESS”
GT:Â How does a married couple cultivate oneness? Does it kind of just happened or do we have to be intentional about it?
Emanuel: You have to be intentional about sharing your world. Otherwise, its like this: Your job is engineering. Her job is design. You have friends over here. She has friends over there. My wife is a domestic engineer. I am an artist and a minister.
You have to be careful that your world\’s don\’t get divided. The beautiful thing is that God actually intends for our differences to create balance but what ends up happening is that instead of really just appreciating your differences and allowing the balance to shape your marriage, you basically begin to separate.
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ON WALKING IN FORGIVENESS
GT: What is the process of forgiveness likeâ€”what things might a person struggle with?
Nicole: The act of forgiveness happens in a moment, but there is a process that you have to go through and a place of forgiveness that you have to keep yourself in. You have to determine not to keep a record of wrongs and constantly renew your mind. We don\’t have a sea of forgetfulness to throw things into but just like God gives me His mercy and treats me like the offense never happened, I am determined not to treat my husband as if he offended me. That\’s a process you have to work. It\’s something I am doing every day, every moment.
The idea is that you treat the person as if the offense never happened. We thank God so much for his mercy and greatness because none of us would be here without it. We marvel at how our Savior freely forgives us.
Satan\’s going to always try to throw his darts to get us in discord but we have a flow now. I think it\’s important that you model Christ in your marriage.