As the song goes, â€œIt\’s the most wonderful time of the year!â€ It\’s nearly holiday timeâ€”the season when we get to share with family and friends, enjoy dinner gatherings, holiday parties, fellowship evenings and so on. Most importantly the holidays are when we acknowledge the greatest love of all, which was embodied in the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Alternatively however, the holiday season is also one of the loneliest and saddest times of the year for singles. Both men and women admit that during the holiday\’s they would like nothing more than to spend time with a significant other that is more than just a friend or acquaintance; especially if they happen to live in a cold weather city.
Recently I stumbled across a young lady (we\’ll call her Lady B) whose book may tag her as Washington D.C.\’s version of a â€œSex in the Cityâ€ character. I won\’t use her name although, what I\’m about to share is on the web and in her own words.
In an interview, she states that she and her girlfriends are educated, professional, independent and all about town. They dine at some of the finest restaurants, attend exclusive parties and events, and seek a positive and fulfilling relationship with the opposite sex. Yet, even with all that, she admits that the outer exterior of beauty and poise doesn\’t match the inner destruction. Tragically, she and her friends all seem to truly mimic the original version of the Sex in the City series, which results in them ending up with the wrong guy, a playmate, or no guy at all.
As I read the accounts of Lady B\’s experiences and disappointments, she surprised me. She described a young man whom she had dated. Although she was not attracted to him and he didn\’t meet her expectations, she â€œkept him aroundâ€ for the holidays. She described him as her â€œholiday boo.â€ He clearly wasn\’t aware of his status and just before summer, she dropped him because she â€œhadâ€ to be free.
After reading this, I couldn\’t help but wonder, â€œAren\’t you tired of the cycle?â€ I thought, â€œIf your desire is a meaningful relationship, why are you dumping the very thing you desire? Why would you even date someone you are not really interested in? And you wonder why you don\’t have a man and you\’re alone.â€
A few things struck me in reading Lady B\’s accounts:
- First, she was doing the seeking instead of allowing a man to find her.
- Second, she seemed only to be using the club scene for her searches.
- Third, she seemed to be doing what God admonished Eve for in the Gardenâ€¦trying to control the relationship.