Pilar Gaudin was 14 days away from walking down the aisle. She had picked out her wedding dress and her groom had measured for and ordered his tux. Gifts from two bridal showers were stacked up; but when she sat down to address the wedding invitations, reality hit her like a ton of bricks.
Love wasn\’t wooing her to the altar, desperation was.
Here she was, single, successful and pushing 40. Her â€œclockâ€ was ticking like a time bomb. Like so many women her age, she dreaded the thought of being one of the millions of 40-somethings that would never marry; therefore, the rush was on! Despite some disturbing red flags, she was determined to tie the knot…even though there were real issues between her and her betrothed.
Flashbacks of nightmarish experiences with her soon-to-be-husband flooded her mind and led to troubling thoughts: â€œHe\’s not stable! He\’s scattered and unfocused. Godâ€¦I hope we don\’t end up getting a divorce! But should I risk letting him go? A good man is hard to find, it\’s even harder to get a good man to commit to marriage!â€
Is a Good Man (or Woman) Really Hard to Find?
According to modern-day matchmaker, Paul Carrick Brunson, founder of One Degree From Me, Pilar should reconsider marriage and wait for someone else.
Bondsâ€¦Not Easily Broken
Dr. Aaron Turpeau, relationship expert and author of The Harmonious Way, says compatibility is the key to successful relationships. He says that love it not enough to make things work. â€œWhen the thrill is gone, can you live together in the long haul,â€ he asks. He says that â€œlove is an action that manifests when people serve each other.â€ Interdependence is not option, it\’s a must. Dr. Turpeau\’s Observations/Advice:
â€¢ Try a little tenderness. Speak softer. Be less angry. Put a higher value on your relationship.
â€¢ Depend more on each other. Provide for each other\’s needs. Scratch each other\’s back.
â€¢ Respect and build each other\’s self esteem.
Remember Pilar Gaudin? She called off her wedding. Although she still wants to get married, she has decided that it\’s more important that she get to know and love herself more and discover the good thing that she is.