College Dating: A Player\’s Playground?

Socially correct terms like, “friends with benefits,” “booty call” or “one night stand” describe sexual liaisons that have become commonplace on many college campuses. These temporary hook ups involve connecting with someone either at a campus party or event, and most often, but not always, include sex.

Hook-ups are generally void of deep emotional connections or future expectations and are often accompanied by alcohol and may consist of anything from kissing and making out to having sex with someone you just met.

A recent CNN report stated, “at least 75 percent of women have engaged in hooking up on campus, and the number is usually higher for men.” (College Hook-ups: Say No To Emotionally Empty Relationships

Despite their popularity, hook ups are an extremely un- healthy business. They can result in increased incidence of STDs, AIDS, unplanned pregnancies and harmful emotional and spiritual side effects. According to the Bible, physical attachment with emotional attachment is impossible (1 Corinthians 6:16).

If you\’re not interested in the hazards of the “hook up,” here are five dating ideas that offer fun and accountability:




40 thoughts on “College Dating: A Player\’s Playground?

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    Gaultier’s design can be read as an attempt at subverting the objectification of women through fashion. By taking on a traditional signifier of women’s restriction, that is, the corset, and placing large cone shaped breasts on it, it can be said that Gaultier has created an image of female empowerment (French, 2004). By making the corset visible he highlights the way in which women have been forced to conform to accepted standards of beauty, and the way in which these standards are constructed. The cones add to this reading by removing the maternal aspects of the breast and indicating the way in which they have been objectified and the unnatural form that has become the beauty standard in western culture (French, 2004). However this design could also be seen not as a parody and symbol of empowerment, but as a reinforcement of patriarchal ideals.

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    Cross dressing has been utilized by performers like comedian Barry Humphries, as a means of making a social statement. Humphries’ famous character Dame Edna Everage has become a popular entertainment figure. Through this character Humphries is able to explore and parody the construction of femininity. Dame Edna is deliberately extreme in her appearance, often wearing large ornate glasses and purple hair (Dame Edna The Official Site). She is an example of exaggerated femininity which borders on the grotesque. She is a loaded signifier, with her purple hair and extremely costume like clothes she is the epitome of gender as construction and denaturalises the idea that there is a natural gendered state. Such parody is not limited to cross dressing however, it can also be revealed through strategically designed garments like the Jean Paul Gaultier corset which Madonna famously wore.

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    Judith Butler has been an influential figure in the study of whether gender is a construction or inherent. According to Butler in her book Gender Trouble, a gender identity is a series of gender signifiers, for example, gestures, which are learnt via mimesis and reinforced through repetition (Butler, 1990, p6). Through this reinforcement the performance of gender also becomes internalised so that we come to believe these masculine and feminine identities are ‘normal’. As such, gender is a social construction imposed on individuals based on their anatomy (sexual identity) (Butler, 1990, p6 If gender identity is learnt, then it is not inherent, and therefore does not necessarily coincide with ones sexual identity. By encoding specific garments and styles as either feminine or masculine, it becomes much clearer what gender someone is because their appearance (and as such part of their gender identity) is expected to coincide with their sexual identity. In this way, what is considered masculine and feminine in regards to dress is also a social construction. As fashion is primarily considered a feminine concern (, it is through examples of the female gender identity that fashions influence can best be seen.

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    Fashion can certainly be used to parody, subvert and deconstruct gender identities (particularly the feminine), however, in the mainstream, it can only ever reflect the social conscious behind it. If society is not ready for men to wear skirts, then skirts will not be bought by the majority of men. Whilst designers like Jean Paul Gaultier can attempt to deconstruct gender stereotypes through fashion, many of these subversions can still be read as supporting the distinction between gender identities. Fashion and dress is influenced by both the body itself and the range of signs that it refers to, making it difficult to determine where fashion ends and social consciousness begins.

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    The ‘gaze’ plays a significant role in the maintenance of the male/female binary and as such the separation of gender identities. The ‘gaze’ (that is, the act of looking at and objectifying the opposite sex) is considered predominantly masculine, with many images of women in the media being constructed for the male audience (Barnard, 1996, p140). However when a man is the subject of the gaze the binary is not destroyed, as merely reversing the act of ‘looking’ and being ‘looked at’ does not alter the active/passive, male/female binary. These must be transcended in order to begin breaking down the distinction between gender identities (Barnard, 1996, p140). As such fashion, by encouraging the male gaze and helping to define masculine from feminine is supporting the male/female binary. Cross dressing is one way of making it especially clear that this male/female binary exists.

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    In society today there is a clear divide between fashions considered feminine and those considered masculine. However, is this a result of the fashion industry itself, or is the industry merely reflecting the changing attitudes of society as a whole? It is difficult to determine where the line between gender reproduction and gender construction stands in regards to fashion and dress, as it can be read in a number of ways. Fashion has been used in attempts to deconstruct gender stereotypes, as in some cases of cross dressing, but has also been used as a means of reinforcing them via items like the high heeled shoe. Fashion has been a part of western culture for centuries and as fashion has changed so too has its significations. The style of the garments we wear, their fabrics and colours, all carry signifiers of various aspects of our lives. In times past, fashion trends were set by the middle and upper classes, with the result that fashion became a signifier of social standing. For example during the Baroque period of the seventeenth century it was fashionable for both men and woman of the upper classes to wear garments decorated with large amounts of lace and ribbon (Stecker, 1996, p14). This gave men’s fashion a highly feminine appearance; however they were quite distinct from the lower classes which did not utilise such decoration. In the present day this class distinction has lessened and a gender distinction has become predominant. This division is established almost as soon as we are born. In western culture it is customary for male babies to wear blue and female babies to wear pink. earning a living) (Lurie, 1992, p214). In the adult world it is acceptable for women to wear blue, however men still rarely wear pink, and those who do are often accused of being effeminate and homosexual (Lurie, 1992, p214). One theory states that one of the first functions of clothing was to attract the opposite sex. By only revealing and highlighting specific parts of the body, much can be left to the imagination and thus sexual desire is increased (Lurie, 1992, p213). This is similar to Freud’s assertion that “visual impressions remain the most frequent pathway along which libidinal excitation is aroused” (Freud, 1977, p69). In order to be successful in attracting a member of the opposite sex the garments must therefore serve to distinguish men from women. On a basic level this can be seen in department stores where the women’s clothing section is distinct from the men’s. However the relationship between fashion and gender is significantly more complicated, with the definition of what gender actually is having a significant effect on how fashion could be seen to impact it.

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