Christian, Single and Lonely? Girl, Please!

A recent article has caused tempers to flare and emails to fly.

The Black Church: How Black Churches Keep African American Women Single and Lonely by Deborah Cooper purports that the black church is at fault for so many black women being single and lonely; it says that black women place too much faith in both black men and black churches; while the church makes women feel inferior to men.

Clearly, a person who admits they haven\’t darkened the door of a church since the age of six (as Cooper does), should not attempt to be an authority on what the church does or doesn\’t do. Even non- journalists know that you can\’t write about a subject as multi-faceted and diverse as the “Black church” without first-hand research. However, there were some interesting points that the article helped expose.

First, the article exposed a lack of understanding as to why a person should go to church. Cooper says that going to church will not get you the husband you seek; and she\’s right. But that was never God\’s agenda for church attendance and neither should it be yours.
Church is supposed to strengthen your relationship with God and other believers and build your faith. Anything else is a fringe benefit.

Second, the article exposed Cooper\’s twisted perspective of Christian men. She wrote that the only men that can be found in a black church were either: losers working a 12-step program, openly gay or on the downlow, players on the prowl or elderly reformed players. She suggested that women get off their knees, stop listening to their pastors and open their eyes to the world around them.

I actually laughed when I read this. My first thought was, “Well, what\’s the rest of the worlds\’ excuse for being single and lonely?” Yes, black women are reportedly the largest uncoupled group of women, but we are not the majority. Statistics confirm that over 70% of Americans believe in God. So, if 60% of Americans are single, large chunks of Christians—both black and white—are single. I go to a predominantly white church, filled with beautiful single men (yes, I did say men!) and, many of the men and women at our church still seem unable to find one another. There are too many factors at work – war, crime, education and finances. We have to lot more to look at than the Black church; it\’s called your life. Ms. Cooper, you missed this one by a mile!

What are your thoughts? Could Ms. Cooper be correct? Is the black church keep African American women and lonely? Share your thoughts! Feel free to write your comments or send us a video link on the topic.