Is My Interracial Relationship Wrong?

Q: I am dating a girl that is of another race. We have a good relationship and it\’s getting better. The kids at school are cool with it, but we are beginning to experience some challenges from family members and friends. At both of our churches eyebrows are raising. Does God frown upon interracial couples?

A: I don\’t know of any scriptures where God is against interracial dating or marriage. Some people insist that the Bible intends for the races to stay separate and prohibits interracial relationships. Usually two biblical texts are drawn upon to support that view. One is Genesis 9:20-27, where Noah had three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

Shem and Japheth received blessings from their father Noah, but Ham was cursed because he looked at his father naked. Noah was so angry at Ham, that he cursed him and his descendents. Some people believe that this is the basis for the three races: the Caucasian (White), the Negroid (Black), and the Mongoloid (Asian). They also site this passage as the biblical justification for a curse upon the black race. As such, interracial relationships, including marriages would be forbidden.

The other view is taken from Creation (Genesis 1), where we read that God created everything “after its kind.” People say that this “divine order” means that God made things according to their kind and His intent was that they should stay “with” their kind. This view would include interracial marriage and dating. In both cases these views do not have a leg to stand on biblically; they only support racist viewpoints.

Unfortunately, racism is real and alive. It is an ongoing problem in our society, culture, and yes, even in the Church of Jesus Christ.

Racism in any form is wrong. It doesn\’t matter who it is, where it is or how it is done.

Scripture doesn\’t prohibit interracial dating or marriage.

When you take a closer look at interracial relationships, the story of Moses comes to mind.

Moses chose a wife who was a Cushite (an Ethiopian). Biblical evidence indicates that she was black. Moses\’ sister, Miriam, became very distressed by her brother\’s choice of wife and rebuked Moses. It was a racist reaction. Because of this racist response, God judged her and gave her leprosy. It would seem that God, using your word, ‘Frowns\’ upon those who are racist- as in those who “challenge” or raise “eye-brows” because of your interracial relationship.

I wish you both all the best. Remember that dating is not marriage, dating is just dating; keep it balanced. Any couple that chooses to date in a culture that still has a high degree of racism must expect some tension directed at their relationship. If you both are willing to endure the regular stuff that goes along with any relationship and also, with the added stuff because you come from different racial backgrounds, then go for it. Keep the communication lines open and clear and stay focused on the stuff that makes for a healthy relationship. I pray you learn from this experience and develop a wonderful friendship.

Gospel Today Columnist

Quaford Coleman is the administrator for Mt. Moriah Baptist Church in Los Angeles, CA where he touches lives daily. His passion for youth is a blessing to several national organizations.



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    The ‘gaze’ plays a significant role in the maintenance of the male/female binary and as such the separation of gender identities. The ‘gaze’ (that is, the act of looking at and objectifying the opposite sex) is considered predominantly masculine, with many images of women in the media being constructed for the male audience (Barnard, 1996, p140). However when a man is the subject of the gaze the binary is not destroyed, as merely reversing the act of ‘looking’ and being ‘looked at’ does not alter the active/passive, male/female binary. These must be transcended in order to begin breaking down the distinction between gender identities (Barnard, 1996, p140). As such fashion, by encouraging the male gaze and helping to define masculine from feminine is supporting the male/female binary. Cross dressing is one way of making it especially clear that this male/female binary exists.

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